Just a random train of thought... I've been thinking about something.
In the past, I have personally been attacked and downtalked for the way my family and I have chosen to both spend money and save it. And I know others have been too. Alternately, I have been guilty in the past for judging others (wether or not I voiced the opinion out loud) about the way they spend or save their money as well.
Some people use coupons. Some choose to shop for ingredients and make everything from scratch to save money. Others don't have the patience for coupons or the time for home-made food all the time, and find other ingenious ways to cut their budgets.
One family will buy store brand diapers to save money per diaper. Another family will have the guts and tenaciousness to cloth diaper their children. And yet others will be super brand specific and buy top of the line diapers no matter the cost.
One family will avoid paying for cable TV and strictly have movies they own or no TV at all, while another home may have the biggest cable package and a massive home video library coupled with subscriptions to video rental services as well.
A mother and father and their 3 children will squabsh into one small car just big enough for them to fit in, and trade the keys back and forth between parents so they can go to work, take kids to school etc. While a husband and wife that have yet to have children have 3 cars sitting in their garage ready to be used whenever they are needed.
In the past, my husband and I have made choices with our money that have helped us, and others that have turned out to be big mistakes. And I know we will make many more mistakes in the future when it comes to our finances. Every one does, and hopefully the sum of the mistakes and successes keeps us in the black. Either way we learn from those mistakes and move on to try to improve ourselves and ultimately be the best stewards of our money as we can.
So what is my point? My point is, you never know why anyone does what they are doing. The exact reons behind each and every decision that they made. Diapering with disposable diapers for some is a luxery that is far to out of reach, while other choose to cloth diaper for a variety of reasons from the financial aspect to the environmental side of things. On the other hand, the decisions for using disposable diapers are wide and varrying as well. The same goes with how many or the type of cars one drives. Or even whether one should pay off a chunk of debt or go on a family vacation.
When we know someone that is obviously hurting themselves with their financial choices, we can be a friend and offer our assistance when it is appropriate. But when that assistance is unwanted or even offered and then turned down, we need to step back (even in those cases) and realize that it is in the end, their decision.
We will rarely, if ever, see the whole picture of someone else's life and know exactly why they chose to do the thing that you would never even dream of doing.
If we could step back and look at another person and really try to look at ourselves, and put ourselves in their shoes, a lot less judgment would be passed. A lot fewer feeling would be hurt. And there would be a lot less misunderstanding in the world... No, less judgment, hurt and misunderstanding in our own communities.
Let us be there for our neighbors and have the bravery and strength to offer our help where it is wanted, but also, to seek for the wisdom to know when being a friend means just being there.