The Definition of self reliance according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is:
reliance on one's own efforts and abilities. To be independent and able to be able to wholly support yourself.
Growing up, I never really understood what self reliance was. My mother would talk about it, I'd hear it in school, but I don't think any young child will ever really understand what it is to be self reliant because they are totally dependent on their parents for everything they need and even their very lives, and that's how it should be!
When I got older, about the time I was in high school, probably right around the time I was ready to get my driver's license, I started really understanding what it was to be self reliant not that I was at all, but I knew what it meant. When we are in our preteens, teen age years, and even our early twenties, I think most people hear the term self-reliant and understand it well, but we don't want to be. We are at the stage of life where we don't really need to be self reliant and so we choose not to be. We start becoming a little bit independent and rely less and less on our parents and others around us for the things we need and want, but there we still rely heavily on others for certain things.
Then something horrible happens!!! We get married, have kids, move far away from family and friends or just "grow up" and realize that the world doesn't work that way. Our lives are shattered and we learn quickly that we have reached the point where we can't rely on others any more because someone else is now relying on us. That moment of realizing that we need to be self reliant whether we want to or not can be terrifying, exciting and numbing all at once. That moment came to me when it hit me I was going to have my first baby in less than two months. I knew that I couldn't rely on my mother any more. She'd be there for me when I needed her, but it couldn't be the same as it was. I had my husband to equally share the load with, but we were in the boat together, we had a big problem; we knew we needed to be self reliant but had no real idea how to do it.
"Fake it till you make it!" I heard it all the time growing up and just passed it off as a nice little saying but now it quickly became my motto. I had to fake it! If I wanted my children to grow up as self reliant, upstanding citizens in the world I knew I had to teach by example and if I had to fake it, I would.
I'm still faking it. I'm now realizing that I was probably at least 8 years old before my mother actually had an idea what she was doing. And now that I am older, I know she still has no clue what to do next sometimes. But that's OK, it makes us human. It means we can learn from our mistakes and that we are picking ourselves up and trying even when we fall flat on our faces in a big puddle of mud.
So, as we grow from a small baby to adulthood, we hear self reliance is important, we understand what it is and what it means, but how to do it and how to get and stay there, is an entirely different matter. It takes trial and error and is, sadly, one of those things that is different for everyone. We need to lean on others at times and when we do, we need to remember that that's OK as long as we don't let ourselves get comfortable there. We need to be able to get back on our own two feet and try again. Pick ourselves up out of the mud, brush it off as best as we can and realize that we'll be messy from it for a while, but we'll get over it eventually and KEEP TRYING!
This series, I hope, will help others to be inspired. I'm intending this to help give people ideas on how to get to the point where they are totally self-reliant by giving them ideas on how to get there as well as hoping they get inspiration on other ways by reading my ideas.
Discovering Self Reliance - Part 1Discovering Self Reliance - Part 2: Living on Welfare Discovering Self Reliance - Part 3: Realizing Your Talents Discovering Self Reliance - Part 4: Emergencies & Really Being Ready For Them Discovering Self Reliance - Part 5: Learning New Skills - Maintaining Your Vehicle Previous posts:
