Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Keeping Up With The Joneses

"'Keeping up with the Joneses' is an idiom in many parts of the English-speaking world referring to the comparison to one's neighbor as a benchmark for social caste or the accumulation of material goods. To fail to 'keep up with the Joneses' is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority."

"An inferiority complex, ... is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. An inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement."

We all compare ourselves to others at one point or another (and more frequently than we may like to admit) and honestly, I think that is how we are built! We are programmed to see the accomplishments of others and realize the worth of those accomplishments. When we do, that recognition can trigger in us a sense of "healthy competition" that pushes us to then do the beast we can in turn.

This comparison/competition cycle is a very good thing when kept in check and placed in the proper perspective. But too often, and in today's society a lot more frequently that it has been before, it gets out of hand and in a very real way un-healthy!

In my opinion, "Keeping up with the Joneses" is the epitome of self demoralization. When all wea re doing is trying to keep up with our neighbors, or be better than so-and-so... we are cheating ourselves of who we are as individuals. We become obsessed over one-upping each other and loose sight of being our unique best.

Maybe the reason we can never seem to "keep up with the Joneses" in the first place is because the Joneses are happy!

Example:
Your neighbors on the left have the perfectly manicured yard with beautiful shrubbery and blooming flowers. They are always outside caring for their property and enjoying the outside weather.

Your Neighbors on the right have a green lawn, a small perfect house and a beautiful boat in their driveway. They are seldom home on weekends because they take their boat out and enjoy the lake.

You see your neighbors and want what they have! So you work hard, maybe even get a second job to pay for that boat. But because you are working so hard you don't have the energy to work on your own lawn, so you hire someone else to do it for you. After a while, you have the perfect yard, a great boat and can now enjoy your weekends on the lake and your weeks in the yard. But something is missing.

If you looked closer, you would have noticed that your neighbors on the left with the perfect yard, you never see a car in their driveway... It stays locked up in the garage because they seldom use it, apart from going to work. And, that car is a 30 year old heap of metal running on it's last leg. It gets them where they need to go and they don't feel any need to trade it in right now.

While your neighbors on the right have that amazing boat and are able to take every weekend away on the lake, their house is small and barely fits them and their two children, but it is also a lot older than you thought it was and needs a lot of work!

The whole while, your neighbors on your left were looking at your messy yard with all the toys and dead patches where the boys won't stop digging up the dirt longing and wishing they were able to have children of their own to tear up the grass and flowers.

On the left, your neighbors climb into their truck early Saturday morning and pull away from their small, falling-apart-house pulling behind them their inherited boat to get away for the day and take a break from the endless repairs of their home as they try to keep up with the endless chores and kids, wishing they could afford to fix it up for good or just move!


We all need to get to the point where we can see the Joneses and use that desire for what they have as a motivator to get accomplished what we need and want, and what we really need and want, not just the same things that they have because it looks greener on the other side of the fence.

You may not have that boat, or the perfect yard, or the even the children you want right now... But I firmly believe that you are where you are meant to be at this particular moment in time! Be grateful for what you have, long for things you want and work for them. But don't let that longing overcome your entire life. You were dealt the cards you have. You made the choices you made and where you are now is a result of that.
The future will always change, just try to be happy where you are for now.

Remember and learn from yesterday
Plan, hope and prepare for tomorrow
Live Today!