I was at the store last night grabbing a few last minute things that I totally spaced I needed... and I was just looking at all the parents there with their kids. I saw kids from just a few months old to preteens. And it hit me, just how much we mold our children.
When you think about it awe are all born into this world, with the exception of genes and looks, identical to one another. We all have a mother, even if it is just for a short time, we all breathe, we all see for the first time. And we are pretty much a blank slate. IF left entirely to ourselves we would inevitable become our own individuals and develop our own personalities, but everything we become is a result of our experiences. As parents, we have the biggest influence to our children's experiences, for better or worse.
As I was looking at these kids in the store, walking with their parents, being pushed in a hopping cart, being scolded for running off or whatever they were doing, it hit me just how much each child looked like their parents! I'm not just talking about "he has your eyes" or "she has the same smile", I mean they acted like their parents. Everything from their little personalities to their clothes were influenced by their parents, because that's how their parents act, dress, laugh, and the list goes on. We learn by example, and we teach by example. Kids notice everything! They pick up on the smallest facial expressions and eventually learn to know and interpret exactly what they mean.
A child watches his mother's face as she comes into a room when he knows he has done something wrong to see her reaction. He knows the second you see what happened exactly how much trouble he is in.
They see how we eat, and follow suit. My son insists that I help him "spin" his spaghetti every time we eat it because that's how I do it.
The same goes with how we live our lives. If we can push ourselves to be better stewards over what we have, to better spend our money and time, our children will pick up on that, follow suit and have that part of their life as adults so much easier to handle.
"Breaking the mold" is the hard part. We learned from our parent show to live. How to cook, how not to cook. How to spend money, how to waste money. How to even spend our free time. If you grew up in a family where the budget was always tight, but your parents stuck to it, and made the most out of what they had. If they saved every penny they could and lived without, and were happy that way, then you likely will do the same thing as an adult and pass that to your children. If you grew up in a family with the exact same circumstances but your parents accepted that fate grudgingly and complaining all the time, then when you are older, you won't think that that is a great way to live. You may live in within your means as an adult, but you still may spend more than necessary and probably not ever build up a savings because you were taught buy example that living that way wouldn't make you happy.
Step back, look at your life, then look at your children. If you are content with what you have, if you are truly happy to live the way you are, and if you and your family are in need of nothing, keep it up!
But if you look at your situation, and see some small area that could use improvement, try to change that for the better!
We teach by example, and out children learn to live the way we do. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree", if the tree is bad, the apple can't fall very far from it, and if the tree is good, the apple won't want to.
I haven;t changed much from what I was taught by my parents, and there is a lot of good I learned from them. But, they are human, and made mistakes (just like I know I will) and I can see there is room for improvement. Breaking that mold is hard! But I know that if my children can benefit from it, then it will be well worth it.
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